The Sharpening Strength Podcast Episode 7: Pursuing the Journey Toward Professional and Personal Success with Dr. Tim Cummings of Restore/Thrive
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If you have a body, then you’re an athlete. In this episode we talk about fundamental patterns that are universal to perform and how strength is never weakness. We dive into the myths about the self-made man and the importance of consistency. We talk about living a life of service and the effect reflection can have on your life while pursuing the journey – and so much more on today’s episode!
If you want to get a hold of Tim, you can find him at https://www.restorethrive.com/ or contact him on Instagram or Facebook. If you enjoyed this show, make sure to subscribe and please help us by leaving a 5 star review. Also, don’t hesitate to reach out on social media @iostrengthperformance, or better yet – tag me in a post with your favorite part of the show! If you haven’t yet, make sure to join like minded men in the Strong Living for Men Facebook Group – designed to offer Performance Coaching to Help Men Get Strong, Feel Confident, and Level Up Their Life.
The Sharpening Strength Podcast Episode 7: Pursuing the Journey Toward Professional and Personal Success with Dr. Tim Cummings of Restore/Thrive
[00:00:00] Dave: Welcome to the Sharpening Strength podcast. A show designed by men for men looking to get strong, feel confident, and live a high performing life. Every week, we will have a featured guest who will share valuable information and experience to give you actionable strategies you can apply to level up your life.
[00:00:16] Physically mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, we will draw on our guests’ knowledge and experience, but more importantly, we’ll discuss how this applies to the common challenges and struggles with being a man in today’s world. Our goal is to not only build strong men, physically, which help coach and develop strong friends, sons, brothers, fathers, business owners, and professionals in every area of your life.
[00:00:38] I’m your host, Dr. Dave Paczkowski proud husband, business owner, physical therapist, and strength coach with a passion for helping other men level up their labs, wherever you’re at in your journey. I’m excited to have you here with us today.
Now let’s dive into today’s episode of The Sharpening Strength podcast.
[00:00:56] Hey guys, welcome to episode number seven of the Sharpening Strength podcast. I’m joined here with a good friend of mine and special guests. Dr. Tim Cummings, we have some awesome stuff coming your way for this. Some of the highlights that we’re going to get you are the following. If you have a body, then you’re an athlete.
[00:01:14]There are fundamental patterns that are universal to perform, learn what those are and why you need to start training like an athlete. We talk about how strength is never a weakness sounds intuitive. Right? But we get into what that really means. We talk about the myths about a self made man, the importance of consistency, living a life of service and the importance of reflection.
[00:01:38]So Dr. Tim Cummings is a strength coach, physical therapist, writer, speaker, and along with his wife, Jess, the founder of Restore hrive. Tim splits his time between helping athletes, parents, and coaches fix acute and long standing orthopedic injuries and programming, post rehab training programs for individuals looking to get back to their active lifestyles after an [00:02:00] injury, he received his bachelor’s of arts in exercise science from the university of Missouri, Kansas city in 2004 and his doctorate of physical therapy from the Southwest Baptist university in 2010. He was certified as a Titleist Performance Institute certified trainer in 2011. He was certified as an impact concussion management provider in 2012.
[00:02:22] He was the first physical therapist in Kansas city to earn recognition as a Move Nat certified trainer in 2014. And he was a physical therapy, first physical therapist in Kansas city, designated as a MobilityWOD certified practitioner in 2015 before starting his own physical therapy and performance practice tim practice with the renowned Elite Physical Therapy and Integrative Medicine recognized in the Kansas City Metro area as an innovative physical therapy practice and his current practice, Tim continues to practice performance-based orthopedic physical therapy with a focus on return to work and return to play training.
[00:02:56] Tim’s clients include recreational high school, collegiate and professional athletes, post concussion syndrome, patients, CrossFit athletes, powerlifters, obstacle course racers and law enforcement. First responder and military personnel. Tim’s background. As an athlete includes a history of competitive baseball, basketball, cross country running and performance weightlifting. In his free time.
[00:03:19] He enjoys spending time with his wife, Jess and their three children. Aiden, Evelyn, and Connor. He enjoys weightlifting, golfing, obstacle, course, racing, competitive eating, and wrestling with his kids. Guys. I’ve learned so much from Tim over the years, he has a wealth of knowledge and you guys are going to love this episode.
[00:03:35]Let’s get started.
[00:03:37] All right, Tim. Welcome to the Sharpening Strength podcast. So excited to have you on here today. Thanks for coming on.
[00:03:42] Tim: Oh, Dave man, this is super excited. I really appreciate you having me on too, man. I always love the conversations we have offline. So I think this will just be another, another good time as always.
[00:03:53] Dave: Yeah, just an extension. Just hitting record on what we’re already talking about. So it’ll be a lot of fun, but I want to have a, have you kick [00:04:00] things off today by giving the people, listening out there and overview of your story, both kind of personally and professionally your, your background, uh, in those different areas.
[00:04:08] Tim: Yeah, well, man, it’s, uh, I just celebrated my 44th birthday, so we can make this take a long time, but I’ll try to give you the quick capsule summary. Um, so yeah. Um, dr. Tim Cummings, doctor physical therapy, strength and conditioning coach born and raised in Kansas city, Missouri, not Kansas.
[00:04:27] That’s an important distinction for us Midwesterners. yeah, as far as like personal and professional background, um, those things weave together so much. So I was just an avid athlete growing up, um, played seasonal sports, basketball, baseball, soccer. Um, my mom never let me football because my dad had a horrific, like knee injury in high school.
[00:04:48] So she was like, Nope, not you. And now it’s like, well, in retrospect, that was probably the right call. But yeah, that was probably the only sport that I didn’t play growing up. But baseball really became like my, that was my first and [00:05:00] my true love as far as like athletics go. And so I had an opportunity to play.
[00:05:04] Um, in high school and then a chance to walk on in college. And it was when I had a chance to walk on in college that I suffered my first shoulder injury. I was a pitcher left handed pitcher and separated my left shoulder and that really derailed my baseball career. Um, but really got me thinking, because up until that point, I was really, even though, you know, I had a great upbringing as far as like, uh, academic upbringing.
[00:05:28] I was really just kind of. In love with baseball and really didn’t have an idea of what I wanted to do if I wasn’t playing baseball. So even when I got to college, I was a psychology major. Yeah, which I was like, well, that seems like something to do. If baseball doesn’t work out, you know, but as soon as I injured myself, it really opened my eyes.
[00:05:45] And so I was able to rehab from that initial shoulder injury, but then about a year and a half later had another more serious injury where I had a tear of the front side of like my labrum in my left shoulder. And it was at the point [00:06:00] then, whereas like, I really started thinking. You know, long and hard about like, you know, I feel like I’m in a place where I’ve pushed myself as hard as I can athletically.
[00:06:09] And my body’s just kind of telling me like, Hmm, this isn’t for you. And then I started thinking about, well, how did I wind up in this spot while I was hurt? And what I realized was like, I didn’t really have a good idea of how to train myself or coach myself. And then when I started to dig into how you would prepare like a overhead throwing athlete for competition and found some good, you know, kind of research and kind of education in that I realized that like all the advice I had gotten was just like really misinformed.
[00:06:41] I think my coach has had good intentions, but really just didn’t have the resources to kind of coach me and train me well. So that drove me into exercise science, which eventually led to a bachelor’s degree. And then, um, I got certified as a strength and conditioning specialist through the national strength and conditioning [00:07:00] association and spent almost about four years.
[00:07:04] I’m working in private settings, mainly as a strength and conditioning coach, working with general population, working with high school and college athletes and a handful full of professionals as well. And then kind of got to the point in that whole process of being a coach where I realized I was limited even there, because there weren’t very many athletes that I was working with, who didn’t have some sort of injury history.
[00:07:27] And I was fortunate enough at the time when I kind of came to that realization that I was working. Um, as an exercise specialist in a hospital based setting. So it was kind of working in, in conjunction with the rehab department at this hospital. And so I was having conversations with physical therapists almost every day, and then like quickly realized I’m like, man, this is the missing piece here.
[00:07:50] And this is kind of like my own life. Kind of weird psychology instead of just saying like, well, I’ll just hand these people off to the physical therapist. I’m like, I need to be a physical therapist as well. And [00:08:00] so I go back to the PT school, you know, spend three years in PT school to get my doctoral degree in PT.
[00:08:07] Um, graduated in 2010 and met my wife in PT school along the way. So she’s a PT as well. That’s kind of how we got connected and then just started working as a physical therapist. And then it took probably about seven and a half years, but finally got to the point where I’m like, you know, I think there’s maybe a better way to deliver physical therapy than the way I was I was going about it. So I was just working as a staff, physical therapist at a sports medicine clinic. They were just kind of an insurance based clinic. And what we saw is things really changed while I was there over that seven. and a half year time span where it went from, like I had an hour with each patient and then I had 15 minutes and I had 45 minutes and then I had 40 minutes and then.
[00:08:50] The other thing that was really interesting was that, like, I never got a raise that whole time while I was there because you know, it reimbursement was going [00:09:00] down. So it’s like, man, what other profession do you become more skilled, but get paid less over time. And I’m like, man, something’s not right here.
[00:09:07] And you know, it wasn’t even this deal where it’s like, Yeah. I don’t think anybody gets into physical therapy thinking they’re going to be like a multimillionaire. And that, that wasn’t my motivation, but I’m like, man, I need to provide for my family. And you know, it was one of those deals where I saw that like, man, this thing is just not sustainable.
[00:09:24] And that’s what kind of led us to the spot we’re in now where my wife, Jess and I. Um, own our own physical therapy practice, um, and just work on kind of a, like out of network, um, basis. So it’s just kind of a fee for service practice and we kind of hybrid those two worlds of like physical therapy and strength and conditioning, which for me is a ton of fun because I get to use all of my skillset, but it’s like way more rewarding too, because I don’t have an insurance company telling me like how long I can work with the patient, you know, or what I can and can’ work on. And I really get to treat [00:10:00] people the way I feel like they’re supposed to be treated, which is as a whole person, you know, not just a problem or an injury to solve. So that then I’d say that’s about as short as I can make it.
[00:10:13] Dave: That’s a good short story for people starting off and a couple of followup questions that come up from my end, too, that I am curious to fill in some of the gaps is so from baseball injury to getting into strength and conditioning side of things, more of the training, the rehab background. How did your training personally shift for that?
[00:10:30] And how has that kind of evolve too, from being an athlete? We’re kind of told what we follow these programs or whatever our coaches put us through some good, some bad, but how did your training evolve and where did that really where’d you really take interest in that and what maybe influenced if you had, and how has that evolved over the past several years?
[00:10:49] Tim: Yeah, man. That’s been a journey for sure. So like my first introduction to the weight room was in high school and we were just on the. Bigger faster, stronger [00:11:00] program, you know, that’s what the football team did. That’s what the baseball team did. That’s what the soccer team did. That’s where the basketball team did just like everybody did the same program.
[00:11:08] And it was basically like bench squat, um, power clean was pretty much all we did. And there wasn’t any other work it’s like, as long as you got in and did your lifts, that was it. And so, like I mentioned earlier, that was one of those things that I kind of discovered. You know, at that time, when I had my second injury to my throwing arm and baseball that I realized, I’m like, man, there’s a little more nuance to this thing.
[00:11:31] You know, it’s like not every athlete is the same and not every individual is the same too. Like everybody’s a little bit different. So, um, you know, that at that point I really started, um, following. The national strength and conditioning association and in prepping myself for that strength and conditioning certification really learned about kind of a more well rounded, um, training program and looking at things like exercise physiology, you know, the body’s response to [00:12:00] exercise, you know, and how you develop specific athletic traits too, whether it’s like speed or endurance or power, um, those types of things, just things that I hadn’t been exposed to in, like, I wasn’t having conversations with anybody about that in high school, you know, in high school, the main thing, it was just like, how much do you bench?
[00:12:16] You know? And like we get in on Friday, you know, um, in like, It’d be like a big like bi’s and tri’s day before. Like, we’d go out to the football game on Friday night and just trying to get a little pump, you know? And so like, there was a little bit of an evolution there from like high school to college.
[00:12:32] And then I was fortunate when I was finishing up with my undergrad degree. Um, I got connected with a local coach here in Kansas city, um, who had had a lot of exposure to, kind of the Russian, methods of like training for athleticism, um, and was highly influenced, by a South African, um, exercise, uh, scientist by the name of Mel Siff.
[00:12:56] He wrote this book called super training, which is like a. [00:13:00] Super dense book that like will tell you everything you need to know about like the art and science of like strength and conditioning. And so he had basically been kind of synthesizing those practices. And so I got introduced to, um, basically what’s called like Russian volume training, which is like a general physical preparation type of approach, but you know, really heavy into like, Pre Olympic and Olympic lifts into like, um, you know, metabolic training as well.
[00:13:29] So a lot of like lactate threshold, anaerobic work, those types of things, working on things like speed and agility. So I felt like by the time I was out of college, I had a pretty good understanding of how to train the athletes. But then again, it was that, that thing that I really ran into was like having a deeper understanding of the body from like, at.
[00:13:49] Injury and kind of rehab perspective as well. And so I would say I ran with, um, a lot of those, those things that I learned through my strength and conditioning [00:14:00] certification and through like my internship work that I’d done and kind of following some of those general physical prep, um, programs that like, you know, the Russians of like the seventies and eighties Olympics teams were doing, which were super effective and we can.
[00:14:14] Talk some other time about what else helped those guys perform too. But like the training itself was pretty solid. So I ran with that for probably close to a decade from the time I discovered it in college to the time that I got to PT school and started down that road. And then after PT school, what I was really looking at, it was just kind of.
[00:14:33] Realizing that like, then there was a gap between like what somebody would do in physical therapy and what they would do in the weight room. Cause that was really comfortable in the weight room, but I wasn’t very comfortable even as a new grad, like I would tell you now 10 years in it’s like, man, I kind of knew what I was doing, but not to the degree that I do now.
[00:14:53] And I was way more comfortable taking somebody out in the gym than I was doing, like manual therapy or even like, you know, um, like [00:15:00] a clinical assessment to figure out like, alright. Do you have a rotator cuff strain or do you have a tear? Do you have, you know, like a, like hip flexor strain or do you have like a labral tear in your hip?
[00:15:10] Something like that. Being able to sort all that stuff out. I probably dove deep on that for two years where I was really just looking at from a clinical perspective, how do I become a better diagnostician? So I probably spent, we had added up one time. It was close to about 300 hours of continuing ed that I put in, like my first two years out of PT school, just to kind of get good as far as like my clinical exam skills.
[00:15:35] And then I got done with all that. And then I kind of stepped back and looked and I was like, man, like the problem is still the same. It’s like, I can diagnose the problem and I can like rehab you from the point where it’s like, all right, you’re not going to have pain or dysfunction anymore, but it’s like, you know, and I think we’ve talked about this and I know your approach is the same Dave where it’s like, man, it’s like, it takes some time to build up from like rehab to like full athletic performance again.
[00:15:59] And it’s [00:16:00] like, there was nothing out there. Talking about that at all. And I’m like, man, I feel like that’s my skillset. And so while I was working just as a PT, before we started our own practice, I really started to just kind of fill that gap. Like I’d have other PTs who would just be like this, person’s done with physical therapy, but it’s like, I need you to look at them like when they’re in the weight room and watch them lift and make sure their form is good and, you know, develop a program for them to follow.
[00:16:25] Cause it’s like, they’re so deconditioned just going through this injury. And so. Then, you know, after I had done that for a couple of years, I’m like, you know, I feel like this is just something that everybody needs after rehab, or it’s a conversation we should be having with everybody at least. And so that, in terms of like what I was looking at, then by that time, you know, I had been a strength and conditioning coach for over 10 years and I had done some clinical certifications, but really got back into the strength and conditioning realm.
[00:16:54] So I got exposed to, um, The Titleist Performance Institute, which is out in your [00:17:00] neck of the woods, kind of their approach to assessing golfers. Um, I got exposed to and, um, was certified through, Kelly Starrett’s company MobilityWOD, which is called The Ready state now I’m just kind of learning kind of their, their ways of kind of combining those worlds of physical therapy and strength and conditioning as well.
[00:17:19] Um, and then went through it. This is one of those things now, like I think the thing that becomes apparent the more. People ask me about like what I’ve done in my professional careers. Like, I just love to like learn man and just pick up new things. And so I, I worked with the impact concussion group out of Pittsburgh.
[00:17:39] Um, got certified to do vestibular therapy with post-concussion patients, but found that like vestibular performance was one of these things that we saw a lot of people had an underlying deficits in that didn’t even realize it. So that became kind of part of my practice. And then, um, working with, power athlete, originally was [00:18:00] part of the CrossFit football scene.
[00:18:02] They were the ones who kind of developed that kind of sports specific training, kind of modifying CrossFit for the athlete population. Um, And I’ve been working with them for probably the last two and a half, almost three years now. Um, as well. So all those things kinda I think shaped me to the point now where the thing that I noticed as I was thinking about this, it sounds like I’ve got my hand in like 20 different things.
[00:18:28] But the thing that, that, that I realized, like going through all that training and it’s like, man, there’s a lot of, I call it just, consilience like. We’re all kind of having the same conversations, but maybe we’re using different terms, but there’s just fundamentals that like every person should have. It’s like, you should understand how to like squat well, cause you’re gonna get up and down from a chair countless times throughout the day, and you should be able to learn how to like hinge from your hips without rounding through your back. And you should be able to like reach overhead without your shoulder hurting, you know, and support your body weight and be able to get off [00:19:00] the floor without, you know, Having to use like four points of support and like a chair to help you at the same time.
[00:19:06] So I think, um, I’m at this point now where, to me, it just seems like it’s all, all in the same spectrum, you know, whether it’s PT or strength and conditioning and people always fall somewhere along that spectrum, but I’m always trying to push those people to that point of like performance again, if they’ve got some sort of injury.
[00:19:25] If they had some sort of long standing problem that they’d just been working around, like, you know, I’m always looking at that, in that lens now of not just can we fix your injury. It’s can we optimize your performance as a human being, even if you’re not competing in the sport. So.
[00:19:41]Dave: [00:19:41] I think that’s a really good transition too, in a way I want to talk a little more on, because I think hearing your background of so much, I mean so much awesome certifications. Your knowledge is, is just crazy. How much stuff you’ve picked up over the years, just with your passion for learning, but it’s easy for people listening to be like, well, that sounds very athletic or I’m not [00:20:00] participating in a, you know, I’m not trying to compete in sport.
[00:20:01] I just want to, I want to look good. I want to feel good. I want to be. Confident in my body and not have have pain. And that’s, that’s more of the people you guys are working with more regularly than the, than the athletic side. And can you, can you speak a little on the summary of all these, these different backgrounds and some of those things you were talking about that you’ve developed and how they’re all saying the same kind of things, how that applies to the person?
[00:20:22] Just trying to look good, feel good and do it for a lot of years to come.
[00:20:26] Tim: Yeah, that, yeah. I think that’s super important because yeah. You hit it on the head. Mo most of the people that we see are not people that you’re going to see on TV, like competing in their sport, you know? And so, um, yeah, I really talk about it in a couple different ways. One, um, You know, if you have a body, like you are going to be tasked with physically challenging things throughout your day.
[00:20:51] And whether you look at that or whether or not it is a sport, it’s like, we know there’s just fundamental movements that people are going to have to do reaching [00:21:00] behind your back or overhead. Like I was talking about. Using your lower body, you know, to pick things up, uh, to bend over, to step, to run. Um, all of those things are just universal, just human movements.
[00:21:14] And so, you know, from the perspective of like how I would coach somebody through that, you know, I, I always try to meet people where they’re at, you know, cause people always come in, you know, when they see me and it’s like, They have a problem, but there’s something beneath that problem that they can’t do.
[00:21:30] So it’s like, yeah, maybe your knee hurts, but it’s like, what’s your knee preventing you from doing it? And there’s always a reason that they come see me and it’s not just because their knee hurts and because their knee doesn’t let them do. Like the thing that they want to do, whether that’s, you know, just doing yard work or, you know, I can’t get down on the floor to like play with my grandkids, you know, was just because my knees so stiff and locked up, you know, we really always try to link it back to like, what, what are the things from a physical perspective that, that are [00:22:00] challenging for you, or that maybe you’re even avoiding doing, you know, that would really improve your quality of life.
[00:22:06] And I think that really. You know, resonates with people. I’ve found if, if we really approach it from that perspective. And I don’t come in, usually with an agenda, I’m not trying to make everybody like a powerlifter, you know, or an Olympic lift or get them signed up in across the gym or something like that.
[00:22:21] But I do tell people it’s like, Uh, one, one of the things that I like, I think Mark Bell, um, said this one time he runs a super training gym up in Sacramento, said strength is never a weakness, you know? And it’s like, there, there’s no downside to doing like just a basic kind of strength program to, to help your body get stronger.
[00:22:41] I mean, that’s gonna make everything in your life easier. And in what I found, which is really interesting, um, as we’ve talked about before, it’s like, man, I’ve got it. You know, a ton of stuff on my plate. It’s like, you don’t have to be in the gym six days a week, you know, 90 to 120 minutes at a time. I I’ve [00:23:00] got working professionals who I just have them on just a two day a week strength training program.
[00:23:05] And maybe they spend another day like riding a bike or going for a walk. They do some basic kind of just like stretching and mobility work on their other days. They’re active on the weekend, but it’s with their family. It’s not like in a gym and we can get those people plenty strong. And what we noticed is like, man, it’s really not about how much you do.
[00:23:25] It’s really about. How consistent you are and doing that. And, and we see time and again, in the rehab and in the strength and conditioning, like your body will adapt whatever you do most frequently. So if you’ve got just even a base level practice, um, in terms of just moving through your day and doing a little bit of strength work, doing a little bit of aerobic work, I think people, a lot of times don’t get started with that because they have in their mind either that.
[00:23:52] They don’t understand that, like, it doesn’t take that much time or maybe they remember what they were like when they were in high school. And they were like, yeah, man, I [00:24:00] would like, you know, work out for an hour and then I’d go play pickup basketball for two hours. And it’s like, I did that now. I would just like crush myself and it’s like, well, it doesn’t have to look like that.
[00:24:08] You know? So I think sometimes people’s ideas or expectations for themselves are a little bit out line. So. A lot of times, I just find that I’m kind of bringing people, you know, kind of back to earth, planting their feet on the ground and saying like, Hey, let’s make this really simple. Let’s meet you where you’re at.
[00:24:24] Like, I don’t have this agenda where, you know, it’s like, I need you to train just like me, but I want to empower you feel like you’re able to do all the things that you want to do and, you know, really develop some competency for them. Then it’s not even a question of like, do I need to check in with Tim all the time, because if I’ve done my job, right, like they’re going to notice the difference and they’re going to feel like they’ve got more kind of agency and freedom in their life.
[00:24:52] And that’s what I’m always after. So.
[00:24:56] Dave: Yes. So I’ll say that. And I think that the myth out there is, is [00:25:00] the one thing you said for sure of, well, it has to take, if I want to get fit, I have to spend hours and hours at a gym every week to do it, which isn’t the case. There’s. There’s plenty of people I know that are extremely fit, that don’t step foot in a gym and spend 10 to 15 minutes a day doing some things like there’s plenty of things you can do, even from the comfort of your home to achieve fitness.
[00:25:19] If, if that’s what your goal is. But the second piece of that too, is knowing. What is your goal? What are you working towards? If it’s, if it’s not to get into a competition, if you’re not trying to compete in CrossFit, or if you don’t care, if you can squat two times your body weight, and you’re just trying to generally get healthy, then the program’s going to look a lot different in terms of what your demands are compared to someone who’s trying to compete in bodybuilding or power lifting or, or some of these different things.
[00:25:46] And how do you. Is this something you’re talking about most people on on day, one of how are you bringing out these goals? I think it’s, I think for a lot of people listening, it’s hard to like we know, okay. Yes, it’s important to set goals, but when we actually get [00:26:00] to the X’s and O’s of setting them and identifying those things, it’s not as, it’s not as straight forward as people think.
[00:26:04] So. Are you regularly having these conversations with people and how are you identifying it and using that to steer their training and programming?
[00:26:13] Tim: Yeah. That’s, that’s a really good question. So I agree. It’s like the easiest thing to do is say, like, I want that, but the hardest thing to do is figure out how you’re actually going to get there. And so yeah, we do, we do that day. One, one of the things that Jess and I both do, um, is, you know, really take our time as far as listening to people in that first visit and just ask him like, alright, you know, so your knee hurts.
[00:26:39] Like. What brought you in today? You know, cause a lot of people it’s like their knees hurt for six months. It’s like, well, why did you come in now? And then they’ll say, well, because I can’t, you know, I can’t walk outside and then I’ll, you know, just really ask them simple follow ups, um, where it’s like, well, Yeah.
[00:26:57] Why do you like to walk outside? Well, it’s a great way to [00:27:00] relieve stress. Well, why, why is relieving stress important to you? And then they’ll say like, well, you know, because, you know, I, I’ve kinda got a hard job and trying to balance like my work life and my home life is, is like really challenging. And it’s like just asking a couple of why’s, you get deeper into their motivation for why they’re there.
[00:27:19] And then the conversation goes to like, when I come back at the end of the visit and say, hi, This is what it’s going to take to get you where you want to go. Now it’s not just about like, well, this is going to help your knee stop hurting. This is going to be the thing that helps you deal with like that stress that you encounter through your Workday and being physically capable of.
[00:27:42] Managing your stress will make you a better partner, a better husband, or a better wife, or a better parent as well. And it’s like really thinking about the purpose behind what you’re doing, as opposed to just that surface level conversation, which, you know, in most PT clinics, especially the insurance [00:28:00] based clinics, it’s like, you don’t really have the time to have that conversation and really get that deep with people.
[00:28:04] So it’s like, yeah, I had a new patient come in yesterday. Um, and you know, our, we take 60 minutes, you know, in our initial exam. And we probably spent the first 30 minutes just talking, you know, about like, you know, you’ve got several things going on here and it’s like, none of these things are new. You know, why is it that, that you’re coming in now?
[00:28:26] You know? And you know, it was one of those deals where we really got to the point, um, in the conversation where this patient was just like, I don’t want this to be the next 20 years of my life. Like being limited in this way. And like, you know, and I was very Frank with her. I was like, well, you deserve a lot of credit because it took you a lot of kind of gumption and kind of willpower.
[00:28:50] And like, decision-making kind of to get to this point. It’s like you found us online, you filled out an inquiry form. You booked an appointment with us. You [00:29:00] drove to our clinic, you walk through the door. You took the time to have this conversation with me and identify where you want to be in, like, by the end of it, you know, we were on the same page where it’s like, alright, here’s the plan.
[00:29:12] And here’s why we’re doing this. It’s not because your knee and your back and your shoulder hurts it’s because you want to have a better quality of life. And like when you get to that level with people, I think it’s just. Man. It’s so rewarding for me yet as a clinician, just to be able to have those conversations and realize it’s like, man, I have the opportunity to really improve a person’s quality of life.
[00:29:35] And for them to, to feel, man, this person’s really listening to me too. And this isn’t like a deal where it’s like, I’m getting kind of like rushed in and rushed out. Um, I think, um, the people that we work with really appreciate that difference too. So. Yeah. That as far as how we really get, get, buy in with people, that’s, that’s the way we do it, man, is we really just take the time to have that conversation and ask more questions.
[00:30:00] [00:30:00] Then we do, you know, just kind of talk about how great we are as physical therapists. So
[00:30:06] Dave: Yeah, I think we, we both dive deep into our subjective side of our, whether it’s someone working with remotely or in person is, is half hour to upwards of 45 minutes at a time, just because that’s how long it takes to peel back. And I would argue, it takes even longer than that. It takes an ongoing relationship to really peel back some of those things, but people reaching out.
[00:30:26] It’s like what you said too, about having the gumption and the courage to do that because it’s, it’s not easy to. Seek out that help. And to have that reflection, to know like, Hey, I need to change something. And I don’t know how to do that on my own. That’s something that I don’t have the tools or the ability.
[00:30:45] And, uh, cause that’s where we get to a lot of people and people will come in and, or they’ll reach out and they’ll be like, Hey, I like, I, I kinda know what I’m doing, but, um, Sorta just seeing where, where you fit in that. And it’s when, when you start peeling it back, they really don’t have much of an [00:31:00] idea of what they’re doing.
[00:31:00] They’ve they followed some plans and they bounce around from thing to thing. But if we really knew what we were doing, we would achieve all our goals and we wouldn’t need to seek out help in those other areas like you and I seek out help spiritually and in business and physically as much as you know, in all these areas that are, that are important, but.
[00:31:17] I guess the, the main point trying to make is that it does take courage and it takes admitting that, Hey, I, you don’t have to know what the answer is. And there’s plenty of help available though. If you can, uh, you know, have, have the courage to reach out and seek help for some of those areas where you need it.
[00:31:36] Tim: Absolutely. Yeah. It’s just that I think fighting back against that idea of like the self made man, you know, and in that idea that like, we don’t need a community around us to help, I think is, is such a lie. Um, I tell people openly, I tell my clients I’m like, You know, it I’d be happy to help you from like a PT perspective and a training perspective.
[00:31:57] And just to kind of let you in on a little secret, like, [00:32:00] cause people ask me, like, what do you do for your training? You know? And how do you keep yourself healthy? I’m like one I’m married my physical therapist. So like when I have a problem, which I have fairly regularly, it’s like, I don’t have to drive anywhere.
[00:32:12] I just like walk into the living room and I’m like, Jess, Hey, this doesn’t feel quite right. And so I’ve got, you know, that. That asset. And then a couple of years ago I realized. Um, that like, I really needed help just as far as training as well, but I wasn’t as objective with myself as far as my training is I could be.
[00:32:32] And so I hired a coach and like I’ve had a coach writing my training for the last almost three years now. And that’s just been transformative where it’s like, man, I can’t really hide behind like my biases and the things that I’m good at now. And we have a relationship where it’s like, Yeah. He knows the things that I’m good at and the things that I’m not good at.
[00:32:50] And like, I had to work on both of those things. It’s like, you don’t want to, deemphasize your strengths, but it’s like, you definitely want to work to shore up your weaknesses too. So that that’s [00:33:00] been huge. I agree, man. It’s, it’s something that I think everybody needs is just that, that support system. So.
[00:33:08] Dave: [00:33:08] Yeah, the value of a good coach is, is really hard to beat. And it’s, it’s in the areas that you feel you need the most help in. It’s not like we need a coach necessarily in every area and there’s not going to be a, a coach that. It can help you across all areas. There’s, there’s different people with different specialties, but if there’s something that you’re really passionate about and want to achieve, whether that’s a health and fitness goal, whether it’s a goal across any area of your life, there’s probably someone out there that can help you get there faster.
[00:33:34] If you’re, you know, if you’re willing to invest in yourself and do that.
[00:33:38] Tim: [00:33:38] Yeah, absolutely. I agree.
[00:33:41] Dave: [00:33:41] And a 10. Yeah, there’s so much I want to get into today from the health and fitness side of things, but I want to want to take this conversation a little different route too. Cause I, we talked about all your certifications, all your impressive accomplishments. And I go to you all the time as a, a wealth of knowledge that I like to learn from, but you also have three kids. You stay healthy out of [00:34:00] your home, gym, you and Jess, your wife handle pretty much everything. You guys run your own business out of your own house. And you guys also have a strong community around you. You guys have developed a strong community through restore thrive, and I want to hear, if you can start by talking more about how you effectively juggle some of these different roles of being a business owner with your spouse, being a husband, being a father amongst some of the other roles that you have going on.
[00:34:24] And how do you even manage to, to juggle all those things?
Juggling Roles: Intentionality and Scheduling
[00:34:28] Tim: [00:34:28] Yeah, man. I think it definitely helps if you marry up, first of all, like Jess is way more together than, than I am. Um, but now I think the. Probably the biggest thing, um, for us as we’ve. Yeah. As our family has grown as we started this business and we’re in this point now where we first, or we just brought on, um, our first two, PTs as well.
[00:34:51] So our business is growing and we’ve got a front office manager now, too. Um, it’s just. It’s intentionality and scheduling and those things, I feel like go [00:35:00] together. It’s like being very intentional, like on a day to day, week to week basis, um, about like, how are we going to spend our time and really just having that accountability.
[00:35:11] I think one of the things that, that has helped Jess and I the most, um, we’ve. Instituted in stages since we started our own businesses, like, and at the bare minimum, you’ve got to have like a weekly sit down, you know, and kind of talk about like the week that’s been in the week to come, you know, and really try to get on the same page there, you know, and it.
[00:35:32] It’s one of the things I would tell you, like it was a challenge for me at first, because I’m very much like of the mindset of like, if I put my list together, like I’ll put my head down and work and work and work and work until like, I’ve got that list done, but that gets kind of counterproductive actually, if I don’t have that conversation with my wife, because then she just looks at me and I think I’m doing great because I’m, you know, accomplishing everything I have on my [00:36:00] list.
[00:36:00] But from the outside it looks like, well, you care more about work than you care about like spending time with me or spending time with the kids or doing things around the house. And what I realized. Early on after we started our practices, like, man, I’ve really got to up my game, not so much as far as like doing more to build our business, but really being more intentional about like having that conversation with Jess and blocking out time for the things that, that identified were most important to me, because as much as I want to see our business succeed in us to be able to help people, um, what became clear when I really sat down and thought about it was like, man, it.
[00:36:38] I kinda turned that same kind of line of questioning that we were just talking about, like, why is that important for you, for your business to succeed? See, it’s like, well, I want to help more people. Well, why do you want to help more people? I was like, well, I want to use the skillset that I’ve been given to, to positively affect other people’s lives.
[00:36:57] Why is that important for you? Well, I feel like this is a [00:37:00] calling, well, you know, Why, why do you think that’s a calling? Well, this, because like I’ve had so many great opportunities and, you know, I feel like, you know, if I don’t use the, these gifts that I’ve been given, like I’m really just kind of throwing that away, but then.
[00:37:15] There’s a whole other side to that. Like that’s like the business side, but the personal side is like, well, you’ve got a great wife and you’ve got great kids and it’s like, man, how are you going to like, nurture and grow those relationships? Like, I definitely look at like fatherhood as being one of those things.
[00:37:30] Like my primary role, because as a teacher for my kids, it’s like, man, I’ve got. Like 18, short years to spend with my kid. And I saw this thing a couple of years ago, that was like a real eyeopener. Um, it was like a infographic that showed like the kind of span of time that parents would spend with their children throughout the entirety of their child’s life.
[00:37:55] And basically. That it averaged out to, by the time your [00:38:00] kids leave your house, you will have spent about 98% of the time that you will see and be able to spend time with them in their lifetime. And it’s like, man, I mean, that really crystallized it for me where it’s like, well, that’s kind of like priority number one, you know, now it’s like, man, if I don’t block out.
[00:38:18] Time on a daily basis to interact with my kids and communicate the things that you know, are valuable. The things that have helped me teach them to let some of the lessons I’ve learned, you know, and really kind of help them grow and develop and guide them. It’s like, man, by the time they’re out of the house, it’s like, it’s almost too late, you know?
[00:38:36] So, um, I would say now, you know, my routine is just, you know, going back to like that, that scheduling piece is like, I have just a simple planner that, that I use and Jess has one as well. Then, like we just compare notes every Sunday night. It’s like, alright, what do we got going on this week? And. It’s business, but it’s also very personal.
[00:38:57] It’s like, when are we having date night this month? You know, [00:39:00] when are we going to spend time together, not talking about business, which is like super easy to kind of just let, let skate, you know, when you’re like co-owners of the same business, you know, but it’s like, Hey, you know, we’re people too. And we have other needs besides just like making sure the business succeeds.
[00:39:15] So having those, those conversations and, and writing it down. Um, I think is just super, super helpful. I know some people are not really given to ride in like Jess is not as much of a writer as I am, but, and I think taking the time to kind of write out your goals, your ambitions, the things that are important to you, and then think deeper about it.
[00:39:36] Like, what’s it going to mean to you if you achieve that? Because I think a lot of times people will just, they go chase down these goals and then they achieve it. And what. What they realize is like, man, it wasn’t even really about like getting this thing. And the thing that’s more valuable was kind of the pursuit and the growth that happens during that time.
[00:39:53] I was listening to a deal the other day, this podcast that we’re talking about, neurologically. Well wired [00:40:00] for that pursuit in that kind of process of learning. And that we see that the brain in terms of the reward centers in the brain are most highly activated when you’re in the process of pursuit. But that, that drops off as soon as you’ve achieved, whatever it is you’ve achieved.
[00:40:17] And like, to me, it just makes intuitive sense. I think that’s why I ended up like continuing to learn so much throughout my career. It’s like, I would get through with one thing and then it’s like, well, it’s onto the next thing. What’s next. But I think that, you know, going back to that idea of like, alright, if we’re, if we’re writing things down, if we’re thinking about things deeply, if we’re communicating those things with other people, I think that will put you in a space where it’s like, you really can find like deep satisfaction because you get to that Y level of like, what’s important to me, you know?
[00:40:51] Like, I, I understand deeply now, you know, just because I’ve taken the time to write about it. Think about it. Look at it. Talk with Jess about it. [00:41:00] Um, you know, why it’s important to like spend time with my kids. It’s not because I’m checking off a box it’s because man, that’s one of like the top three things, as far as like, you know, what are what’s important to me in my life.
[00:41:12] And so that matters to me. So yeah, I think that that’s really where it’s at, man. When you’re talking about like balancing all of these things, it’s hard to, hard to balance it right off the top. It’s really hard if you’re not intentional about it. You know, even when you do all the things that we’re doing, it’s still, still is a challenge, but I really feel that that’s where it’s at.
[00:41:33] And it’s like, man, just that intentionality, that scheduling things out and having those conversations, just being super transparent, you know about what you’re doing and what’s important to you. So.
[00:41:45] Dave: [00:41:45] Yeah, I love that. Tim. And I, I think that intentionality and identifying the priorities and the things that matter most, I think are so important, but I’d love to hear your take on this cause something that I struggle with, and I have a hard time verbalizing because we’re [00:42:00] not, you know, personally, I know, I know both of us and probably a lot of people listening.
[00:42:03] We’re not choosing between. Good and bad options. It’s not like, Oh, I know this thing is a bad thing that I need to get rid of. We’re choosing between, you know, good 1a good 1b, good 1c, it’s like when we talk things like, uh, our faith, our marriages, our families, our kids are our work in business for so passionate about our, you know, our friendships, our other activities we enjoy.
[00:42:26] None of these are, are bad things on their own, but We can’t take on all these things either. And we can’t expect to thrive in all these areas. If we’re putting too much time into something that could be a good thing, like work, it will potentially take away from some of those other areas. So what’s your take and how do you recommend going about setting these priorities?
[00:42:45] Like, it sounds like you’ve done. And how do you, and I don’t think balance is the right word, but how do you identify where and how to invest that over the course of a week in a month?
[00:42:56] Tim: [00:42:56] Man. That’s a good question. I think, um, [00:43:00] it’s yeah, like we talked about previously, it’s it’s reducing. Mmm. Yeah, kind of the things on your, to do list, thinking about the, the things that are most important. I think you, Mmm. You really have to think about like, kind of the deeper meaning behind the things that you’re doing to, you know, um, you know, we’ve had this conversation before.
[00:43:26] I think for me, um, my faith is, is something that really anchors me down and realizing that like the, the gifts that I’ve been given are not things that like I merited, they’re not things that, that I received without great sacrifice and effort from other people, um, puts me in a place where I think my, my heart and kind of my mindset is one that’s like very generous and kind of sets me on this path.
[00:43:55] When I think about the things that I want to do during the day, during a [00:44:00] week or during the month, I’m thinking about what are the things that are going to like build me up and build other people up around me as well. Like what are the things that I can do that are additive to my life and are additive to the other people lives who are around me as well.
One Thing, Building Others Up, Service Oriented Mindset
[00:44:17] Um, you know, from like that perspective of trying to identify those things. It, I think the thing that I’ve learned, and this is something that’s come, it’s been hard one. Cause I’m like, we talked about very, uh, apt to create like a, to do list. That’s like 20 items long thinking about like the, the one thing in different categories, it’s going to move the needle closer to where I want it to be.
[00:44:42] And that’s, that’s really created a lot of freedom in my life. Um, in terms of. Having kind of that achievement based personality, like wanting to do more, wanting to be more, um, realizing that it’s like, man, there’s a point of diminishing returns [00:45:00] from that. And like, if I’m not oriented, orienting that around, like.
[00:45:06] Like a heart that like recognizes like how fortunate I’ve been at the hands of like other people who have poured into my life and not thinking about how I can kind of extend that generosity and that type of grace and love to like other people in my life. Um, it’s really easy for me to fold in on myself and then just fall back into that achiever mindset.
[00:45:31] But I think when. When things are going well in our household. Um, it’s because we’re moving towards each other in ways that are, are helpful, that are kind of like, you know, like I mentioned, building people up, you know, as well. Um, and I think it’s, yeah, that, that’s kind of where it’s at. It’s kind of that service kind of oriented kind of mindset and kind of heart posture where.
[00:45:56] You’re thinking about, man, how can I make, you know, not just [00:46:00] my life, but the lives of other people around me better. And then the math gets really clear. Cause it’s like, man, you can say that you want to spend time with your kids. But like, man, if you don’t like put it on the schedule and block it out, it’s like, well, I don’t know if that’s actually important to you.
[00:46:14] So yeah, I think that’s where it’s at. If that, that makes some kind of sense.
Time Audit & Accountability
[00:46:20] Dave: It makes great sense. Yeah. I think that that service first attitude is, is something it’s easy as achievers by, by nature to get caught up in, you know, what can I be doing and achieving and how do I, you know, will this into happening. But that’s only gonna take us so far for, for a lot of reasons and being able to step step outside of ourselves and lend, uh, invest back into and other people I think is, is a really good answer for that.
[00:46:49] And a good way to have perspective on that. And like you said, blocking blocking it out and physically. Physically going into your, if you use your phone is your calendar. If you use a physical planner [00:47:00] actually going in and blocking it out. And the other thing that, I’m pretty sure we’ve talked about this, but I’m sure we’ve all done is, is actual taking time audits of your week too, and seeing, okay, where am I?
[00:47:10] Where am I actually investing my time? It’s one thing to say, Oh yeah, I want to spend time pouring into my wife or pointing to my kids or working on this thing. But when you actually take inventory and look at where you’re spending some of your time, we either have more time available than we think, or we’re not spending as much time towards those areas.
[00:47:27] We’re looking to improve. And as we, as we would hope to.
[00:47:31] Tim: Yeah, no, I agree that that’s huge. Like just kind of taking a general accounting of how you’re spending your time. And I think taking this time, this is something that we’ve done more regularly since we started our businesses. Like you’ve got to like make time for yourself to even just like, have these.
[00:47:47] Thoughts and kind of make these plans, like if your whole thing is like, I’m always working on the thing that it is that I’m trying to achieve and you don’t have time to step back and kind of look at the bigger picture. I think you can really kind of [00:48:00] spiral out of control where it’s like pretty soon.
[00:48:02] You’re like, why, why am I doing what I’m doing here? You know, you can kind of lose that, that anchor. So. Yeah, I think, I think that time audit piece is really huge. Like we were talking about to writing things down. I think accountability is another big piece of that too. It’s like having conversations with other people too is such a big piece is it’s one thing just to kind of write down your plan, you know, but if you just keep that to yourself and nobody knows about it, it’s like, What’s it going to matter if you don’t achieve that plan, if you don’t do what you say it is that you want to do, but as soon as you expose yourself, you know, to somebody else and say like, Hey, these are the things that are important to me, you know?
[00:48:40] And these are the things that I wanted to achieve. And I want you to just maybe ask me about this. Like every week, every month, like, Hey, how’s that thing coming. Like, man, that accountability piece, I think is another, another great, um, asset, just in terms of, if you’re trying to organize your life in a way where, you know, you’re trying to not only be better.
[00:48:58] At your job, but just a [00:49:00] better man. It’s like having other people who, who know you who know what’s important to you and who can ask you, you know, those hard questions like, Hey, are you doing what it is? You said you were going to do
[00:49:11] Dave: Yeah, I think that’s one of the most underused tools with something that’s so easily available, someone that you trust and someone that not from a place of judgment or a place of getting defensive, if you’re not achieving that, but just someone to check in and see how those things are going.
[00:49:26] If it’s something that’s important to you, if we don’t have that. Accountability. And I forget what the numbers are off the top of my head, but having accountability and having those goals written down the numbers are astronomically higher of achieving a goal than simply keeping in your head and not telling anyone about it.
[00:49:41] Tim: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that that’s just been so helpful for me. I, I couldn’t recommend that enough to anybody who feels like they need some help kind of achieving what it is they want to achieve is just, you know, having some other people in your corner to help support you and, and keep you on track.
[00:50:00] Dave: Yeah, such, such great stuff, Tim and I want to kind of transition here towards, towards the end, as we start to wrap things up. I, you know, when we talked separately, when I wanted to have you on, I, I let you know. And the listeners now know that have been listening for awhile that want this to be a podcast where there’s a ton of great info on health and fitness and achieving goals, but also just a.
[00:50:19] A real place for, for men and listeners to, to come and know that there’s, there’s real challenges and struggles that we all have. And I think that the danger of seeing someone like yourself on the outside is people can look as someone as a, a business owner, a husband, a father, someone who’s fit someone who’s doing really well in all these areas to have the, the myth that believe in its altogether and that things are always easy. And you’re just clicking at this point and we’d both know, and we’ve had this conversation plenty of times that we struggle with all sorts of challenges and things as much as the next. And I think it can be potentially harmful for people listening to, to believe [00:51:00] that the perception is that.
[00:51:02] We have it together and we have it figured out and we don’t have things we struggle with. So if you don’t, if you don’t mind being real with the listeners, I’d love to hear something, either a challenge you faced in the past or something you are currently going through. That’s been a big catalyst for your growth as a man.
[00:51:17] Tim: [00:51:17] Yeah. I mean, not first off, you know, I’m so thankful that you’re willing to have this conversation. Cause I agree. It’s a thing that that needs to be talked about. And I think men in general are not encouraged to be vulnerable or transparent. And um, yeah, I would say. Um, probably the, one of the things that has been the biggest challenge for me is to be, um, emotionally vulnerable, um, specifically when it comes to, um, loss.
[00:51:49] Um, I’ve all four of my grandparents, um, are deceased. Um, my mom died a year ago, um, after like a six year, um, [00:52:00] Just battle with fronttotemporal dementia. And I’ve had like uncles died, I’ve had aunts die. I’ve had friends pass away as well. And it really wasn’t. Um, wasn’t until just a couple of years ago, um, that, that I realized because.
[00:52:18] My again, my mindset is always kind of oriented towards action and doing, you know, not sitting and dwelling. I’m not a good sitter. Um, and so what I realized is that like, as I was stuffing all this like, hurt from like the loss that it accumulated from all these people that, that I cared deeply about and who loved me deeply is that then, it was really stunning me emotionally, and it was affecting my ability.
[00:52:45] To empathize like with my kids and with Jess as well, because I just basically kind of shut that part of my mind and my heart off, or it’s just like, well, I can stuff this down. Why don’t you just stuff this down, you know? And it’s like, it took a while [00:53:00] and Jess is like so much more patient and gracious than I am, you know?
[00:53:04] But she’d remind me, she’s like, you know, that’s not really normal for you to just like, act like everything’s okay when it’s not. And I’m like, well, That’s kind of what we did when, not when I was growing up as a family, it’s like, yeah, we’d have like older relatives who passed away. And I grew up in a big Irish Catholic family.
[00:53:19] So it’s like, you’d have mass and then you’d go have like a reception. And people would like, eaten, like drink themselves until they were like cross-eyed. And like, then nobody talked about it after that. It’s like, you just go on with life. Like this person never existed just as like, yeah, that’s kinda messed up.
[00:53:36] And I was like, well, Yeah, I guess it kinda is, but I don’t really know any different. And so I actually, um, Started working with, um, a grief counselor, um, last year after my mom passed. And that was, um, just nothing short of like transformative, um, just in terms of like giving me language to be able to express [00:54:00] the emotions that I was feeling, um, feeling comfortable.
[00:54:04] I’m sharing that. But with other people that I knew, people that I would say are like some of the closest people to me, like my wife, you know, and like the men that I’m friends with, um, from, from the church that I go to, that I’m in a Bible study with like just being able to share hard things and like, just tell people that like, Hey, I’m not, man.
[00:54:26] I don’t really feel very happy right now. I’m kind of sad and like, um, just feel kind of down and depressed and like, I don’t really have like a, a clear path to like walk out of this, you know, or like kind of convince myself that everything’s okay. Cause it’s not, not really. Okay. And so, um, Yeah, I would say, man, that has just been a huge thing in like, it’s something that I’ve, I’ve struggled with for the majority of my adult life.
[00:54:56] Um, and just like I said, recent years is really started [00:55:00] to change. Um, I really feel, you know, that again, like Jess has been a huge part of that really spending more time. I’m just thinking and writing, um, praying, um, you know, like I mentioned, my faith is really important. So just being, in the word I found great encouragement, just reading the Bible and like, you know, I think people think of the Bible is like the set of rules that you have to follow.
[00:55:25] And it’s like, that’s not really what it is at all. It’s like a story. Um, and it. It shows like deeply broken and flawed people like being redeemed through like truly like awful things, by nothing more than like grace and love, you know, not through their own merit or like their own like, you know, willpower or, you know, intelligence.
[00:55:48] And I think that was just a great example for me, just recognizing it’s like, man, sometimes you just have to sit in loss and you have to sit and hurt and you have to say. Like this hurts [00:56:00] and this sucks and like I’m sad. And like that meant it’s not okay, but it’s okay. You know, it’s okay to not, not feel okay sometimes and not have it all together and just, you know, to, to admit that to other people, I think is huge.
[00:56:15] So. Um, I just, yeah, again, I feel really fortunate because I, for so long really wasn’t aware of that and really didn’t handle, um, loss and, and hard emotions very well. But I feel like I’ve been very fortunate to, to have a great, you know, just kind of network around me, of people. Um, That that love me and care about me quite a bit, who are just willing to say like, Hey, I think you can deal with this in a little more healthy way.
[00:56:42] And it’s okay if you let us in, you know, like that actually draws us closer and it’s not really helpful. Um, for the people that, that I know best who know me best for me to just tell them like, everything’s okay. That’s kinda like my way of like stiff arming people kind of keeping them at [00:57:00] an emotional distance, you know, but it’s not, it’s not really healthy for our relationship if I just act like everything’s okay when it’s not.
[00:57:09] Dave: [00:57:09] Man so well sad. I appreciate you sharing that and the encouragement for, for guys listening for, for anyone listening. Cause that’s such a real struggle for so many people to have. We have this perception that we have to have it all together and there’s this pressure to be composed in tough situations.
[00:57:24] And there’s a, there’s a time in leadership to have that composure and everything, but in the. Comforts of our home in the comforts of our close friends and stuff. We can’t walking around with this front all the time is exhausting and it’s not healthy and it’s not the best thing for ourselves or those around us.
[00:57:43] I really appreciate you sharing all that. And for some really great words on that.
[00:57:47] Tim: [00:57:47] Yeah, man. I just appreciate you again, just to asking about that and being able to have a conversation like that. I feel like it is it’s so important.
[00:57:55] Dave: [00:57:55] Yeah, cause I’m sure a lot of people I know us too. Aren’t the only ones [00:58:00] struggling with stuff like that. So a good, a good thing to that. We can’t hear enough.
[00:58:04] Tim: [00:58:04] no doubt. No doubt.
[00:58:06] Dave: Well, Tim, this has been great. I want to summarize real quick for people listening. Some of our key takeaways before we wrap up here. So just to give some, some action points for people.
[00:58:15] I think we, we touched on so much. I was writing some things down as we were going here, but some of the highlights first from the. The physical and the training side of things, we talked about, a strength is never a weakness. So everything in your life will benefit from, from being stronger. And along with that, it’s not about how much you do though over the course of a day or even a week, but how consistently you can stay with this over time.
[00:58:38] Uh, second piece I highlighted was no, self-made. Men and that’s something that’s huge. I think having a team around you, whether that’s coaches, family, friends, finding a team that can keep you accountable and keep you on track for those things. And then the last piece I would love to that we circle back on a few times is stepping back to really reflect [00:59:00] on the big picture and where we’re going.
[00:59:01] It’s so easy to get. Caught in the day to day to chip away at, to do lists, to keep just head down, pushing forward is where we like to be. But stepping back, writing things down, having accountability, having a time to reflect and really think about, am I, am I doing this the best way I can? And my head in the right way, am I, am I even going the direction that I think I should be are all important things to implement more often.
[00:59:25] So those were three of many takeaways I had. Is there anything you want to add to that, Tim?
[00:59:29] Tim: [00:59:29] Man. Yeah, I think that’s enough, man. I think if we could all just like focus on those things, you know, trying to take care of ourselves from a physical, emotional you and spiritual perspective. I mean, that’s a pretty solid base right there,
[00:59:46] Dave: [00:59:46] That’s great. We’ll spend a lot of fun. We’ll finish up with our hypothetical scenario here that asking all our guests at the end of the show. So let’s say you leave in your favorite coffee shop and you bumped into your younger self of 10 years back. So younger, Tim asks current Tim for some life [01:00:00] advice.
[01:00:00] You’re on your way to a super important meeting. You can’t miss and you only have 60 seconds to talk with him. What advice would you give him and what are you saying to him?
[01:00:08] Tim: Yeah, that’s a good one, man. When you gave me this question, I would say 10 years ago, I was in a space where I was just out of PT school. I had no kids. I had no mortgage. I had no business. It’s like anything. And so I was thinking just really simply, I would tell my younger self man, just like, you know, face the things that, that you’re afraid of, or you’re unsure of, you know, make sure that like you’re staying engaged because those things will point you in the direction that you need to go.
[01:00:38] You know, instead of just kind of staying in your comfort zone, not being willing to ask questions, not being willing to try new things, not being too willing to let go of some of your assumptions and learn something new. If you can just empty your cup, face the unknown face, the things that you’re afraid of, like you will wind up in a space where you’re a better version of [01:01:00] yourself and the people around you will benefit from that as well.
[01:01:02]Dave: Man. That’s so great. I love it. Love it. I love having you on Tim. It’s always such a great conversation with you and I’m glad we got to record it and share it out with our listeners here. So thanks so much for coming out. Let’s wrap up with where can people find you? Where can they reach out to you if they want to get ahold of you?
[01:01:17] Tim: Yeah. Um, the easiest way is just on our social channels. So it’s just at restore thrive on Instagram and on Facebook. That’s the easiest way to get ahold of us.
[01:01:29] Dave: Awesome. And we’ll include that in the show notes for anyone looking to get ahold of you and Jess, anyone in the area should definitely check you out. And Tim really appreciate you coming on. This was a lot of fun and thanks so much for taking some time to come on today.
[01:01:41] Tim: Oh, this is great, Dave. Thanks for having me, man.
[01:01:43] Dave: Guys, thanks so much for listening to today’s episode of the sharpening strength podcast. I hope you found today’s show valuable and that you have some actual strategies you can apply to your life today. This is your first time listening. Thanks for being here. If you enjoyed the podcast and found it helpful.
[01:01:59] Please make sure to [01:02:00] subscribe to the podcast and leave a five star review. These subscriptions and reviews, help other like minded men discover the podcast and take the next step leveling up their life. If you’re a regular listener, I can’t thank you enough for investing in yourself and this show, please make sure to share this with a friend or to post on social media and tag me with your favorite part from today’s show.
[01:02:19] If you haven’t already make sure to join the strong living for men Facebook group, to be part of a community of like minded men. Looking to level up their lives keeps sharpening your strength in all areas of your life. Thanks for listening and see you guys next week.
If you haven’t already, make sure to join the strong living for men Facebook group to be part of a community of like minded men. Looking to level up their lives, keeps sharpening your strength in all areas of your life. Thanks for listening and see you guys next week.
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